"Bad Boys and Why We Love Them" 
"The Ones Who Give and the Ones Who Only Take"

What is it about bad boys that make us weak in the knees? After all, they flat-out tell us not to trust them, they let us know they’re not looking for anything serious, they practically ooze sin and vice.

These men with their wicked, wicked ways almost always give off clues that they should be avoided at all costs yet, unlike the repelling scent of a skunk, we cling to the idea that an ill-behaved man will love us. And, we hold on to the idea that he will change… for us.

We choose to believe that his need to roam free can’t possibly hold once he’s with the right woman. We think there’s no way he could turn his back on our true love and devotion to him.

Are we gluttons for punishment?

The Dichotomy Within
On one hand, we women want to be taken, ravaged, even bossed around a little bit.

On the other hand, we want all of the say. Total control. We want our fella to dress a certain way, act a certain way, bow at our feet, and pay attention to the little things.

There are plenty of women who can’t decide what type of man they want. Are you hungry for a guy you can domineer? (You know, indulge your inner dominatrix?) Or do you want a rogue of a man to do that to you?

To be dominated or dominating… that is the question.

Can Bad Boys Ever Fit the Bill?
Let’s look at some of the snips and snails and puppy dog tails that make up a bad boy: danger, mystery, trickery, and, let’s face it, downright shadiness. And then there are the really attractive ingredients: deliciously unattainable, detached, aloof, non-clingy, non-needy, and, most of all, he just isn’t very nice. Girls, you know how hard it is to stomach the too-nice guys for any length of time. (Sorry, Bachelor Jake… we still hope it all works out for you.)

So there’s another dichotomy – the nice guys are telling you the truth. They’re saying, “I’m nice. I want to love you. I want a relationship. Let’s do this.” And yet, we want nothing to do with them. We want the bad boys who are growling out the exact opposite because they are irresistible sex personified.

What’s a woman to do?

Making It Work
Getting involved with the wrong type of guy over and over again can make you feel like you bring out the worst in every man you date. But it’s actually the bad boys who bring out the worst in a woman. We go from empowered, sexy, with-it, confident women to needy, manipulative, stalkers and barnacles who spout bitter diatribes about men as a whole.

That can really wallop your self-esteem. But please, cut yourself some slack. Did you ever stop to think that maybe you’re just attracted to the wrong men?

The smartest move is to manufacture in your mind the perfect blending of both the bad boy and the nice guy. Decide how it is that you want to feel in a relationship, how you want to be treated, and don’t settle for anything less.

Do you want to feel smothered protected like Bella Swan? (Though we do classify Edward Cullen as a bad boy – after all, he’s a perfect example of someone who can’t change. He’s frozen as-is for all eternity.)

Do you want to be admired like Goldie Hawn is by longtime love Kurt Russell?

Do you want to have a consistent roller coaster of a relationship like Pink and Carey Hart?

There is a happy medium.

The Solution
You can find a man with all the traits that a mother would love, and a sprinkling of irresistible bad-ass behavior to keep you on your toes. It’s the alpha male. An alpha male is the man who draws women to him, the bad boy is the guy who draws you in and then spits you out.

How do you know when you’ve found the alpha male? How can you be sure that he isn’t a bad dude in nice guy clothing? Look at what the man brings out in you. Is he the Casanova or Don Juan who meets your needs and makes you feel like a sexy, confident, admired, I-am-woman-hear-me-roar? If so, ka-ching! There’s a winner. If he makes you feel like a jello-y, does-he-like-me, hot mess of a worrywart, think again before going much further with this male specimen.

In other words, if you check your phone more than four times an hour when you’re out with the girls to see if your latest honey bunny is gonna invite you to his digs for a last-minute, 2 a.m. hook-up, ask yourself, “Is this really what I want? Is this really how I want to be treated? Aren’t I worth more than a late-night booty call?”

Instead of interpreting a bad boy’s cues and messages the way you think he means them, hear him loud and clear and don’t ignore the messages he sends. He’s speaking literally all the time.

Don't Stop Now! Keep Reading...

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