"Dating Advice for Men: 4 Surefire Strategies"
"Warning: We Use the 'R' Word"

Dating advice for men? Well, of course! Men want to find love too. Seriously.

 

First, guys, we think it’s safe to assume that you’d like some successful dating strategies that could lead you to that amazing person that’s interesting, exciting, and most definitely sexy. You’d like to cultivate a dating relationship.

 

Oh, excuse us… we used the “R” word really early-on in this article. Hang in there anyway….

 

We’ve got four important pieces of dating advice for men to share with you fellas at the moment. We know you’d like the scoop in the least amount of words possible. Well... you can’t have everything.

 

Dating Advice for Men Tip #1

The Date Is NOT an Interview!

 

You have heard this dating advice for men before but it bears repeating until you get it.

 

A first date may feel like an interview situation, but it’s not. So please refrain from doing all the talking. About yourself. We cannot count the times fabulous women have told us, “All he did was talk and didn't seem the least bit interested in me. Sniff.” We always feel bad about this report because we realize chattiness on the first date to be an innate character of many, many men. We know men don’t go all motor mouth because you’re disinterested in the woman across from you… but just because she’s asking questions that doesn’t mean that you have to answer every one ad infinitum. What it does mean is that you must ask her questions in return.

 

Guys, women must feel a mental connection in order to be attracted to you. Having a dialogue is the only way to cultivate that. Monologues kill sexual chemistry. Hate it for you but it’s the truth.

 

Now, all this being said, we know you don’t consciously intend for this talkativeness to be the first date turn-off that it is. It just happens, right? All we ask is that you try to be a little more aware of how you’re behaving… and bring your own inquiring mind to the date. If you’ve ever gone out with a woman and thought, “Gawd, she’s bo-ring,” ask yourself if you were perhaps monopolizing the conversation and that’s why she didn’t have an opportunity to be interesting.

 

On your next first date, think to yourself, “I answer a question or tell a story. Then I ask a question or incite a story in return.” It's tennis. Think volley-style sports. That should help.

 

A Little Dating Advice for the Ladies: Men get loquacious because they feel first dates are a bit like interviews and become compelled to sell themselves and present their case… particularly if they like you. They often feel you want and need all their info up front to make a decision about them. So try not to take it personally if he can’t shut up about himself. You have permission to chime in (without being too abrupt) in order to get your own thoughts out there. Don’t worry… he’ll clam up soon enough. (You know it’s true, guys – sooner rather than later men lose the power of speech in a relationship… whether that’s voluntary or involuntary is apparently for men to know and women to try to understand).

 

Dating Advice for Men Tip #2

Remember, Your Date Has Less Testosterone Than You

Do your best to be polite, respectful, and polished on a date. You’re out with a woman, not your keg buddy, frat bro, or little brother, so leave the alphabet burps in the vault for now.

 

Conversely, do not shower her with so much flattery and sticky sweetness that she can't trust that you’re for real. Women want to be treated like women, even the tomboys. And they deserve your best efforts!

 

It shouldn't be too hard to remember that the woman you’re on a date with isn’t your sister who loves you unconditionally in spite of all that testosterone, right? (This is key dating advice for men.) Treating your date like the woman she is will go a long way – you know, be chivalrous, open doors, that kind of thing.

 

Let's face it, you'd like a lady in the street and a freak… ‘nuff said. Polished manners are a sure-fire way to head in “that” direction.

 

A Little Dating Advice for the Ladies: This “man” display isn’t always easy to overcome. So listen up: Don't settle for behavior you can't live with. Know that the attitude a man exhibits on date one is his idea of his best behavior…

 

Now, in fairness to you guys, there are some women who are more than happy to put up with boorish behavior. We just don’t hear from many of them.

 

Dating Advice for Men Tip #3

Make the Freaking Call

Always, always follow-up after a date if you said you would. Don’t produce a string of negative energy by being “that” guy who says, “I’ll call you,” and then nothing. It’s bad karma and it’s not necessary. We ladies are big girls and we really would rather you tell the truth so we can just say “next.”

 

Now, we do realize you fellas often avoid being brutally honest because you fear the inquisition. You want to avoid any questions about why you felt the date didn’t go well and what do you think would have made it better. Yada, yada, yada. Well, we can’t promise that won’t happen (some women are known to be stalkers). Bottom line: If you’re not interested in a second date, don’t say you will be. We know you want to avoid the awkwardness, but leaving a woman hanging is even worse. You don’t have to be a tool. The simple solution? Don’t say you’re going to call if you have no intentions of doing so. Done.

 

Now, if you do want to call and have every intention of doing so, don’t wait a week. Heed this crucial piece of dating advice for men: Do your best to reconnect in a fair and reasonable amount of time. Don’t wait so long that you could have taken a cruise with another girl. If you’re interested, sooner rather than later leads to a better connection and a happier woman – and we know you want to make a woman happy.

 

A Little Dating Advice for the Ladies: You should know men do not have a drive to reconnect after a great date the way we do. Hell, we leave lunch with one of our girlfriends and call her five minutes later from the car to say, “That was great! Let's do it again soon.” Men don’t do this. Did you hear us? Men do NOT do this, except on very rare occasions. Even if he had a great time on your date, a man does not often behave this way. The desire to call may take a little time to brew for them. And once they do decide to call, they can’t help but be a little concerned about how they’ll be received. So ladies, hang in there, find your faith, and don’t let the resentment flag fly if a day or two have gone by. If you do a 180 and act irritated and aloof after a great date, he’ll peg you as one of the “crazy” ones. Try to live by the motto, “All good things in time,” and he’ll remember all the reasons he made the choice to reconnect with you and be glad when he does.   

 

Dating Advice for Men Tip #4

Don’t Make Her Your World 

This sounds like a dating tip for a woman, right? Nope, it's dating advice for men. Well, fellas, you can be guilty of getting all wrapped up in your lovely lady too… and then you take it out on her later.

 

When you’re dating someone new who you really like, do your best to maintain balance in your life during the romantic phase. You haven’t come up for air in days, you’ve neglected everything in your life including work, laundry, friends, and grooming… a few days (or weeks) have gone by and it’s time to go back to the real world for a day. Then, wham! You feel lost (and a bit freaked) by everything you haven’t done or taken care of recently. This pattern often results in your new love interest getting some “back burner” action from you. You might even blame her (blasphemy) for “stealing” you away from your normal life. And, for added fun, you start to think that not paying attention to your own life for an extended period of time reeks of “relationship,” right? 

 

Chill. This separation from society (as long as it’s not unhealthy co-dependence) could be an amazing beginning to an amazing thing.

 

The thing to know is, for women, when you shift back into I’m-a-man-and-I-have-things-to-deal-with-in-my-world-that-don’t-involve-a-woman mode, it’s a shocking experience. It’s polar to your last few days or weeks of steamy closeness. This new focus and less availability can often contribute to that strange, sudden change in a woman’s personality that you guys are so sensitive to – WTF just happened to her attitude, right? Well, you, dear sir, just did a 180 yourself and she’s hurt and confused. And, dare we say, rightly so. When you abruptly change your behavior it feels inexplicable to a woman – and it freaks her the hell out. Our best dating advice for men is that you simply explain this phenomenon to her when it happens. Reassurance will go a long way to let her know you haven’t left her in the dust, you just need to get back to life for a minute.

A Little Dating Advice for the Ladies: Guys are not good multi-taskers in many cases. Ever hear a guy recite a list of everything he has to do today and you think, “Yeah, I did all that before breakfast”? This is a reality you are best served to accept. Try not to take it personally. Men wake up from the ether of new love and find their life (and sometimes their work) in disarray. There will come a time they will need to tidy things up, take care of business, and feel in control and on top of it again so they can return to you in good form. In most cases, this is nothing to worry about. B r e a t h e.   
 

We have so much more to say about men and dating behaviors, but we can feel your eyes glazing over. (It's always good to know when to stop talking to a man. Thanks for sticking with us for this long.)

We really aren't picking on you with our dating advice for men. It's our goal to help both sexes navigate all the early land mines and dating disasters. And, actually, we highly recommend you take a look throughout our site because it will help you understand some behaviors you keep running into with the ladies.

There's plenty more dating advice for men on the way. Bookmarking highly recommended!

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