"Dating Insecurities? 5 common behaviors that reek of insecurity"

It’s normal for you to have dating insecurities. Some of us are better at hiding them than others. Some of us even eclipse them from ourselves. If you are trying to camouflage your self-doubts from your own psyche, you’re killing your own mojo! And that’s a big, fat, dating no-no. Take a good look at the following behaviors – chances are, one or more of them are hiding an insecurity and they might be getting in the way of you having the kind of fabulous love life you want.

Dating Insecurities – #1
Trying to play it cool
Are you too cool for school? Are you better than your exes? Are you too good for love? That blasé attitude, to us, translates to a grade of F – for fear. You’re scared and you’re acting all suave and indifferent, adopting an attitude that doesn’t allow you to show hurt, unhappiness, or disappointment. We get it – it’s a method of self-preservation. But the longer you wear those hypothetical shades and lie about how you’re really feeling, the more you cheat yourself out of true love.

Dating Insecurities – #2
Needing to know where you stand
What are we? How do you feel about me? Where do you see us in the future? Ladies, if you’ve ever asked a guy these questions, you’ve caught the “Let’s Talk” virus. When you “attack” in this state of mind, you leave guys wondering, “What happened to the fun, cool, confident girl I was dating?” Feeling an unrelenting need to know every thought a man is having about you or your future together? Take that as a cue to zip your lips. This desire for information is an insecurity. When it takes over, it’s the end of fun (for both of you) because you’re not going to get the answers you want… he’ll be running too quickly in the opposite direction.

Dating Insecurities – #3
Arrogance
Have you long been known as the “ladies man” or “strong, independent woman”? Do you like that feeling of power and are you reluctant to let go of it? You’re playing the super-aloof, I-don’t-need-you card, but we know the truth. You really do want to feel connected to another human being, but your actions are saying that you really want to be single. Is that true? The reality, more likely, is that you can’t admit that you’re scared to be vulnerable. That hot-to-trot reputation is fun for a while, but are you ready to give that arrogance the power to keep you single and alone forever?

Dating Insecurities – #4
Looking for problems
Negativity attracts negativity. Think he or she is shady? They probably are. The law of attraction brings you what you consciously (or unconsciously) put out to the universe. So when you pull out your little checklist on a date with a new person (we’re speaking figuratively – if you literally do this, we have bigger problems to explore) to examine every nook and cranny of their character, you’re going to find faults. You know they have a red flag and your magnifying glass is going to track it down before it whips around and slaps you across the face. Yippee, Sherlock Holmes. And another one bites the dust. Are you happy now? We didn’t think so. Value what is… don’t dig for demons.

Dating Insecurities – #5
High expectations
Want a surefire way to stay single? Develop a list of characteristics to identify the kind of person you want, then stick to that equation no matter what. A move like this is the equivalent of walking around with your nose in the air, acting like no one is good enough for you. Your crazy list of deal-breakers is sabotaging your chance at seeing anyone for who they really are – and they could be just right for you.

These dating insecurities are only five of the ways that self-doubts manifest themselves in a new relationship. As soon as you get together with someone new, you’re in danger of letting all your past garbage and worries and frustrations rise to the surface. But you can overcome the temptation to go dumpster diving… you can start fresh and find love, regardless of what’s happened to you in the past, or what you’re worried about happening in the future. Stick with us. We’ll see you through.