"Getting Relationship Closure When He's Just a Click Away - 6 No-Fail Strategies"

The idea of getting relationship closure may seem like an overused pop culture term, an urban myth, a bunch of bull. We’re here to tell you that it’s not.

If you don’t actually face the acts of letting go and moving on, you’ll be stuck in past-relationship limbo for the foreseeable future. And just because you’re single doesn’t mean you’re ready to date or be with anyone. If you’re still connected to someone in your mind (and online) then forget it – your subconscious will still consider his world part of your world.

So it’s time to say, “I’m moving on” and actually mean it. Getting relationship closure is a choice.

Saying Sayonara to Sweetheart
We’re not asking you to fall out of love immediately. When you love someone, you love ‘em. It’s not easy to quit full-stop. And, thanks to the Internet, it is way too freaking easy to keep tabs on someone even after he’s stopped calling and you’ve ceased to share your lives with each other.

The hope that you’ll get back together is always there when you see him in your list of Facebook friends. When you scroll through your phone contacts. When you log onto IM.

It’s no longer about tearing up pictures and burning love letters. There’s way more that needs to be eliminated. These days, you’ve gotta hit “delete” more than once to get closure. And you have to do it with conviction. Thanks (or curses) to technological innovation, there are too so many ways to connect with someone. And those are all the same ways you must disconnect.

Deleting Him in the Digital Age
Subtle and obvious traces of your sweetie abound. You see his updates in your Facebook feed, you have a special folder dedicated to his most romantic emails. First we want to say – it’s OK if you feel like you just don’t have it in you to delete him. We’re not forcing you to do anything you don’t want to do. But we are shoving you in the direction of trying to determine and acknowledge the truth about why you can’t delete him.

Our guesses: There’s that voice inside of your head shouting, What if he needs to get in touch with me? And there’s the obnoxious murmur that’s haunting your thoughts, What if he decides he wants me back?

So we’re calling you on it. This is what we really think is going on: You want to make yourself available. That’s the excuse.

Don’t torture yourself like this!

Here’s the reality: all those seemingly innocent placeholders for him in your life (your cell phone contact list, your IM friends) are unconscious reminders of your ex. And multiple daily reminders of him will do nothing to help you reach the goal of getting relationship closure.

Here’s What You Must Do
Getting relationship closure might take a little time but hunker down and know that what you’re about to do will help heal that scab that gets picked every time you see his name. And know that while what we say below may hurt like a son-of-a, it’s all there because we have your best interests at heart:

• Delete him from your IM buddy list. It’s too easy to wonder why he’s logged on, why he isn’t, why he’s set to “away.” Delete.
• Delete his phone number. All phone numbers – home, work, cell, everything. You’re not going to be texting him or calling him. There are no emergencies he’s going to need to know about. You don’t share a life together anymore. Delete.
• Do not follow him on Twitter. Random, sometimes cryptic, 140-character updates will do nothing to ease your pain. Unfollow him. And block him as one of your followers.
• Delete him from Facebook. You do not need to read his status updates. You do not need the temptation to go look at his profile page, analyze the wall posts other females have made there, peruse his friends, or, God forbid, check his relationship status. Delete.
• Delete him from your email contacts. You don’t need Nick’s name popping up as an option when you’re typing a message to your best bud Nicole. Remove his email from your address book and from the automatic email suggestions in the To field. Delete.

And finally…

• Delete his emails. We know this is the hardest freaking request. But you have to do it. No rereading every single one of them before you delete them – nostalgia is not your friend right now. And no printing out your favorite ones and tucking them away somewhere to weep over in a moment of despair and longing and self-pity. When a relationship is over, it’s over. Correspondence ends. The correspondence that came before is moot. Delete those emails. Then go to your trash folder and delete them permanently.

If you don’t take these steps it’ll feel like your ex is still a part of your life… and you can too easily make believe that you’re still part of his. That is a huge roadblock to getting relationship closure.

The Aftermath
You can take most of these steps without repercussions. But if your relationship ended in a relatively friendly way, you might need to expect an email or phone call from your ex saying, “Did you really unfriend me on Facebook??” (We’re telling you how to delete him from your life – we can’t control anything he does on his end.)

They’re coping too… but this is not “a sign” that you did the wrong thing, or that you have full permission to add them back into your life with one click. If they get in touch, you may get choked up, teary-eyed… hopeful. For one last time, do what you need to do for yourself  before you are tempted to respond – click “ignore” on your phone or “delete” that offending email.

Bravo. 

Getting relationship closure is painful and difficult, but we want to ask: Aren't you feeling lighter now?