"Holidays Alone?"
"Have Your Last Single Celebration"
"The 3 Proven Steps You Must Take to Find Love"

If you’re dwelling on how you spend way too many holidays alone – Valentine’s Day, birthday, Christmas, what have you – we have to ask you this question: What are you really willing to do to get out of the “singles” category?

Think about it. Are you really ready for an action-based solution and a long-term loving relationship? Or, are you more comfortable staying stuck?

Are you lamenting the past, dreading the present, and feeling negative about the future? Around here at Dating Inspiration Online, we operate in an action-based, personal-responsibility, law-of-attraction world. So if you’re still crying in your Special K, if you’re bitching to your friends, if you’re moaning to your mother that there’s no one out there for you, stop reading. Go here instead.

You do need to be focused to find love, especially if you’ve had bad relationship experiences that you need to overcome. The good news is… you don’t have to do it alone!

Defining Love… The Way You Want It to Be
First, we have to define your goal. What is it that you want most? A relationship? A marriage? Someone to snuggle on the couch with during American Idol?

What is important to you? Relationship compatibility? Mental connection? Physical chemistry? Companionship? Having someone in your corner?

Let’s consider Valentine’s Day or New Year’s (some of the toughest holidays alone). When these occasions roll around, we make resolutions and set goals. Everything starts with a plan. Now, be forewarned. We’re not telling you to create a calendar and timeline with drop-dead dates like: must be engaged by XYZ, must be married by 123, must have first baby by ABC. Don’t put that kind of pressure on yourself! Set the goal, work toward it, and everything else will come later.

Here are the top three things you must think about and define to move closer to finding love and leaving behind the sadness that can come with spending holidays alone:

1. Be Specific
Identify, very clearly, what it is that you want. Write it down. Envision it. Be specific. Think law of attraction – what you think is what you bring to yourself. So if you’re thinking, “I’m not worthy. Love sucks. All relationships fail,” then those thoughts will turn into reality. Turn it around and instead tell yourself, “I am so worth it. Love is just around the corner. My soul mate is out there.” This kind of thinking expands on the personal responsibility we talked about earlier.

2. Take Action
Decide what steps you are willing to take to meet single people. Are you willing to join online dating sites? Are you willing to join paid online dating sites or must it be a free dating site? Do you want a site that offers a compatibility test? (See our dating reviews of sites like Match.com, eHarmony, and Yahoo Personals.) How much effort are you willing to put in? Will you create a plan to meet people offline? Where will you do that? Don’t worry, we offer plenty of online dating articles to help you answer these questions. Just keep this in mind: Dating diversity is important, so the wider you cast your net, the more options you have to choose from. We know dozens of people who found deep love with someone who was not part of their “mental ideal” (us included!).

This next one is a biggie…

3. Own Your Fears
Look at your fears... all of them, beyond just wading through holidays alone. Are you jaded and angry? Are you searching for perfection? Is insecurity plaguing you? Has neediness gotten in the way? Or are you talking yourself out of love through plain old self-sabotage? For now, list the fears that haunt you most – the ones that are on constant repeat when you lay your head on the pillow every night, the ones that snarl through your mind when you see a happy couple together, the ones that ferociously attack when you’re watching a sappy chick flick or heartbreaking romantic films (Twilight in particular… yeah, we know about Edward Cullen.)

Really look inside your heart and write out all the negative messages you have about meeting someone. Own up to the stereotypes you’ve bought into like, “Online dating doesn’t work. All men are liars. No one could love me. I always get hurt. Online dating is for losers.” None of these are true – stop holding onto them. This is the law of attraction in motion – you have to examine your own self-fulfilling prophecies. Trust us on this one. Dig deep and get real with yourself about what really is and isn’t working.

Now that you know what the three proven steps to finding love are, there is no reason that you have to spend anymore holidays alone. You’re good enough. Believe it. Live it. Love it. Embrace the flaws.

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