"Profile tips for women: the 6 dos and don'ts for creating an online dating profile he'll read" 

The biggest profile tips for women we can offer are as follows: guys have a limited attention span… and short and sweet is the way to go. When it comes to online dating, brevity is what will get his attention. You may be thinking, “Why should I only include highlights about myself?” Because, we just said it! Men have a short attention span! And, to be perfectly blunt, they aren’t going to read your online dating profile in its entirety.

The cat is out of the bag. Men who date online only want to look at your picture.

OK, that’s not entirely true. But it’s close. Anyone who knows anything about online dating profile tips for women know that the fellas are tuned in to notice the physical first and foremost (which is why photos are so necessary – more on that in a bit). So even though you want him to know as much about you as possible up front, even though you want to pour out your heart and soul in words, that isn’t going to necessarily be the thing that makes a man want to get to know you better.

When you follow the dos and don’ts below, you’ll build a stronger online dating profile, and you’ll be better-equipped to translate the language that a man speaks (because, let’s admit it, it is a foreign language sometimes). With our tools, you’ll know what a guy expects from online dating, know how to deliver the best honest goods about your life, and position yourself in such a way that he’ll be attracted to your profile.

There are plenty of ladies out there dating online who aren’t getting the kind of responses they want from men. If you’re one of them, we’re here to help you get the results you want.

Profile Tips for Women – #1
DO edit yourself.
"I’m mad and I’m not going to take it anymore! I’m ready to give up on online dating. If one more stinking, lousy guy makes it clear that he hasn’t read a word I said in my profile..."

Have these thoughts run through your head? One of the biggest complaints female online daters have is that the men who contact them obviously don’t read their complete profile. Well it’s no wonder! You talked about what you took for show and tell in kindergarten, described every city you’ve ever visited, dished about your love of Halloween, and provided minute details about your bird named Angel. Before long, all that text turns into the noise the adults make on the Peanuts cartoons. Waa waa waa.

The truth is this: long profiles are less likely to get read the whole way through. This being said, a guy should of course read your complete profile if he’s truly serious about contacting you. But you might want to give the fella the benefit of the doubt. If his first communication with you is less than stellar or is evidence that he hasn’t absorbed the details about you, he may have been so intrigued by the first few sentences he decided, “Yes, I want to write to her,” and did so immediately. One can always hope, right? (Oh, by the way, even though you’re reading about profile tips for women, don’t worry. We have profile tips for men too!)

So what’s a gal to do? Include only the most pertinent and unique details about yourself early on in your description for the skimmers. Admit it, sometimes when you scan the newspaper, a website, or magazine, you decide you’ve learned everything you need to know in the first several sentences. (And we’re willing to bet that you considered only reading a portion of this article about profile tips for women, too!) And you know darn well you didn’t absorb the whole story and couldn’t offer up a halfhearted description about its plot even if someone were dangling a no-calorie piece of chocolate cake in front of your face. Follow the basic rule of journalism and put the most important facts about yourself at the beginning of your narrative, just in case. (Oh, and if you ever find that no-calorie cake, please let us know.)

Profile Tips for Women – #2
DON’T create a shopping list.
We love Harry Potter too, but magic doesn’t exist. What you include in your profile is not going to deliver the perfect man to you with one whip of your wand. Profiles are designed to get you in front of a guy who has a lot in common with you. This is why too much detail doesn’t really help your case – whether it’s detail about yourself or about what you want in a partner. Don’t expect chemistry to develop through the computer because of the “potion” your narrative weaves. The true flames of passion – if there are any – won’t actually appear for real until you meet in person and spend time together. Before that, you may get butterflies, but don’t go counting on the legitimacy of those sparks of lust. 

Oh, and avoid over-romanticizing your narrative – all that flowery language may sound good to you and may be what you think the universe needs to hear to spontaneously combust a toad into your man, but it doesn’t mean a whole heck of a lot in the grand scheme of things. Online dating is the monkey in the middle. Don’t give it a bigger role than that. The basic goal is only ever to give the man reading your profile the opportunity to determine if there might be compatibility between you… and that is something you can investigate thoroughly in person.

Profile Tips for Women – #3
DO think about your audience.
(Psst, pay attention – this is one of the most important online dating profile tips for women.)

Anecdotes make you a memorable online dater. Generic statements don’t leave a mark on anyone’s subconscious. And saying things that you think a man wants to hear in order to merely attract him will never work, ever. (They may seem a little clueless sometimes but they’re not immune to manipulation.) Give a man opportunities to relate to you. Offer up details (sparingly!) about something you love that he could easily enjoy with you – like hiking or chowing down on some hot wings (at Hooters, if you dare) – but only if they’re things you actually love. No sense in torturing yourself with a pastime if it doesn’t show the real you. Someone who says, “I like to fish” is much less intriguing than someone who says, “Believe it or not, I like to fish – my dad taught me how when I was just three and I’ve been hooked ever since.” Nuff said.

Remember, this is an online introduction. Create a profile that will show someone what it would be like to go on a date with you in real life. Ultimately, a man needs to know that he can make you happy – he wants to be able to connect with you. So, even though you might love scrapbooking or needlepoint, this isn’t the time or place to provide that information … unless, of course, this is all you really like to do. In that case, talk about your interests – you can’t, and shouldn’t, hide who you really are.

Don’t stop now! Only three more dating profile tips for women to go… including THE most important one of all!

Profile Tips for Women – #4
DON’T sacrifice creativity.
The more accurately you can paint a picture of yourself – without being redundant and describing physical characteristics already evident in your photo – the better a man will be able to envision you as an individual. Don’t waste space by stating the obvious – make your words count. Consider including some of your quirkiest personality traits: maybe you can’t help that you laugh at knock-knock jokes or perhaps you refuse to eat blue M&Ms (it’s OK, we still like you anyway). Use your idiosyncrasies to your advantage.

Avoid being vague or speaking in generalities in order to try to attract all potential matches. Believe us, you don’t want a bunch of random guys writing to you – you want the right guys to write to you. You can’t be all things to all people so just be yourself. Describe what you mean specifically, what you love about your interests, and why they’re important to you. Think about it this way, if someone said to you, “I like candy,” that doesn’t tell you a hell of a lot. More enticing? “I like to think of myself as a professional pastry chef, and often bake chocolate desserts to satisfy my sweet tooth.”

Remember, you’re trying to create a moment where the person reading your profile says, “Wow – me too!” Example: “I love to laugh.” Whoop de doo – who doesn’t like to laugh? This is not helpful information about yourself. Tell ‘em you almost peed your pants at the last Jack Black movie or Ben Stiller floats your boat. Explain why you love laughter and need it in your life. Maybe you have a high-stress job that leaves you craving lighthearted company after hours. Let them know they have full permission to try to make you chuckle.

Profile Tips for Women – #5
DO post a photo of yourself.
(This is THE most important one of our online dating profile tips for women. )

When you don’t include a photo in your profile, you offer up an incomplete image of yourself to a man. You might be thinking, ”But I want him to contact me for who I am not because of how I look!” Good. Swell. Stellar. You get a gold star for knowing what matters. But seriously, you don’t walk around in public shielding your face from people, do you? Sure, you want to be valued for your intelligence and accomplishments – these things are also important to men – but right now, the gents want to see your face. The visual component is a very significant part of a man’s ability to be attracted to you. 

Before you get all righteous on us and go talking double-standards, listen up. A man’s need to gauge his physical attraction to a woman isn’t something he can help (and it’s not something we’re defending). It’s not necessarily a conscious choice – it’s his chemical makeup. He’s a dude. He likes to look at the ladies. Some men are more discreet about it than others, but they all use their eyeballs for as much babe-spying as they can get away with. That being said, every man isn’t out there to hunt for a “Barbie doll.” A man is looking for the woman who is aesthetically pleasing to him, so it’s natural that he’s going to go to the profiles that have photos first. Plain and simple – you won’t stand out from the crowd when there are other women who do post pictures of themselves.

If you feel this method of selection is superficial, try to alter your thinking. When women read a man’s profile, most of them want information, details about him and his life – they want to know he’s taking this process seriously enough to offer up specifics about himself. When you don’t have that kind of information from a man, doesn’t that interfere with your attraction to him? Well, if you remove the visual element from your profile, you’re ultimately getting in the way of his ability to be attracted to you. So there. You can get in your own way by omitting one measly little picture – what a waste that would be of all your other online efforts, eh?

Profile Tips for Women – #6
DON’T get preachy.
(While this isn’t the most important of our profile tips for women, it is way up there. Why? Because men remember being preached at, lectured, and nagged more than any other relationship experience.)

It can be tempting to make your profile a list of what you don’t want in a match, but be careful how you word things. This isn’t a forum for Negative Nellie to go all Fatal Attraction about her ex. You are ultimately trying to attract a man. Even if your “musts” and “must-nots” don’t apply to him, when he reads a preachy or condescending profile, you run the risk of turning him off – no guy is going to get mixed up with a woman who seems impossible to please (and a little scary).

Avoid giving orders or saying anything along the lines of the following: “Don’t be old. I won’t tolerate a cheater. Only contact me if you’re serious about this. Don’t expect me to sleep with you on the first date.” Ick. These are the absolute don’ts when it comes to profile tips for women. Maybe you’ve had a bad experience and feel like you just have to create that kind of list to discourage the wrong people from writing to you. But, lady, you’re gonna have the good ones running for the hills at the same time. Do your best to stay optimistic. If you don’t want a liar, write instead about what you do want. Talk about how important honesty is to you, but don’t get into the negative reasons about why this is your hang-up. (This means you should reread your profile after you write it – if there’s any way someone could infer from your words that you think all men are scum, do some editing.)

And as we mentioned in the beginning, men have a short attention span, so while our list of profile tips for women includes six crucial suggestions, we only offer four profile tips for men. Believe us. We know what we’re talking about. And we want to share the wealth.

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