"Sexting - 7 No-Fail Strategies for Sending 'Sextually Correct' Text Messages"

Phone sex? That’s old school. The frisky little trend known as sexting is the modern form of flirting among consenting adults. Note, we said “consenting” – if you get blasé or, well, stupid about the risqué notes or pictures you send in a sext to the new person you’re dating, you could come to regret it sooner than you can say “Facebook.”

Take precautions. Here are Dating Inspiration Online’s smart tips for sextually correct text messages:

1. All discretion, all the time. That means: don’t show every sext to your best buds and girlfriends. Even worse, do not forward said sexts to anyone! Be discreet about your sexting relationship with the one you love (or lust, at the very least). It’s no fun if everyone knows your business. And half the thrill of sexy texts is the secrecy of it! Plus, your partner could certainly be offended if they come to discover that your bawdy little secret has become fodder at the poker table or beauty salon.

2. Playtime, not worktime. Sexting during work hours is not recommended or advised, but if you absolutely must get off during normal business hours, by all means, don’t let us stop you. Just play carefully! Don’t sext if you know your sweetie is in a meeting with the board of directors and especially not if you’re sitting in your own meeting! Brown-bagging it? Downtime at your desk? These are the best moments to take a break and get spicy.

3. Be a grown-up. If you can’t imagine receiving a sext without snorting or giggling about it, then you may want to rethink your foray into this area of sexuality. The point of sexual texting is to provide another area of intimacy for a couple, not an opportunity to see who can be the most obscene. It’s quick and dirty but not an opportunity for you to get crude and offensive. However, if you’re determined to join the information age and flirt ferociously through sexts, get started with light and easy sexts that aren’t super-erotic or highly charged. Ease yourself into the practice to develop your sensual side like an adult.

4. Chill out. Cringe at the thought of erotic texts? That’s OK. Don’t force yourself to do something that doesn’t fit your style – though we do recommend occasionally veering out of your comfort zone. Suggestive and playful sexts are the easiest way to dip into this activity and, if you change your mind later, you can easily drop off on the sexting without having to explain yourself. If you love the one you’re with and trust them explicitly, go ahead and send a nasty little note just to see how it feels. If you find yourself hyperventilating after you hit “send,” perhaps this flirting technique isn’t your cup of tea. If you find yourself suddenly smirking, then we believe there is a hidden sex maverick in you after all. Dig in and enjoy your newfound alter ego.

5. Be brief. You don’t have much choice but to keep your words to a minimum when sexting. But brevity isn’t everyone’s strong suit. Think of sexts as those miniature desserts they serve at P.F. Chang’s – just small enough not to make you feel guilty, but always leaving you wanting more. Cue in your partner on what’s happening that night when they get home, what you have planned for the weekend, or what you dreamt about them last night. Sexy texts don’t have to be foul – sweet, thinking-of-you sentiments are definitely encouraged… because, as every smart dater knows, it’s the innocent little foreplay that leads to the grand finale.

6. Review the tapes. Unfortunately, in dating, there isn’t the luxury of instant replay. So once you send that first sext, there is only one outcome on the other end – and if it’s not the outcome you want, going back and starting over is darn near impossible. If you’ve sexted in the past you can use hindsight to your advantage and try to determine whether sexting behavior with your current squeeze would be welcome. Discussing it with them first can ruin the potential bang-pow-zap butterflies-in-the-stomach feeling that such a daring little gesture can create. Before thumbing that sext into the black hole of text messages, think about your date’s personality, openness, and gag reflex. Would they be turned on by your wicked ways, or completely grossed out by what they might consider filthy, vulgar behavior?

And finally, the most important sexting tip of all…

7. Use protection! You may have noticed that our suggestions mainly focus on written flirtations. There’s a reason. You hear about sexting among teens, inappropriate photos being sent from phone to phone, ruining reputations and causing devastation that alters lives forever. Tread carefully with the texting of photos, even ones that seem to be limited to a teeny weeny cell phone display. One slip of the thumb and that sext with photo attached could be on its way to your boss, parent, child, or other completely undesirable audience, including the internet. Words – easier to explain. Photos – try talking your way out of that obviously deliberate action (and undeniably embarrassing situation).

As we said at the start, sexting is for consenting adults, so if you and your sweetie love a little visual stimulation as well as verbal, have at it. Just remember this: new relationships might be where the most spark is, but try to reign in that no-guts-no-glory attitude. You’re still learning about each other and anything could happen with the information you entrust to each other.

Our suggestion is this: Go ahead and get a little daring with your words, but keep those nudie photos hidden until trust is an unquestionable absolute in your relationship. Even then, sext with caution – always double-check to make sure your sext is going to the intended recipient!

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