"Worthy of Love? You Decide"

Worthy of love? Everyone is… you included. But you may not think so.

 

Here’s a bit of truth that countless singles aren’t buying into. It's a big truth. A really big, hard-to-believe, shake-you-to-the-core truth:

 

Love is available to anyone, today. Right now. Not just anyone, but everyone. 

 

Yup. It's available to you, me, us, him, her, and them. Even that guy or gal you perceive to be the most painful person in life is worthy of love too. Everyone. There is zero exception to this rule and everything else you are telling yourself is a total crock. (It seems our tough love is alive and well in this installment.)

 

Not only is there zero exception to this truth, there is proof of it everywhere you look. Everywhere you live, everywhere you go, every place you frequent.

E V E R Y W H E R E. Oh, we can hear the sighs...

Think about it… homeless people find companionship and love. People who’ve lost everything are getting married and having families. Addicts can find a soul mate and someone to share every twist and turn of that tortured journey with. Nursing homes are filled with new love and sweet, newfound companionship.

 

And, hello, did you know that there are a stunning amount of STDs in the over-60 crowd, proving that age has not one thing to do with finding someone. Or gettin' busy.

 

“So what’s wrong with me?” you ask. It may be as simple as picking a better thought.

 

Here's Some Good News 

Your size, your religion, your age, your economic status, even your relationship history has nothing to do with being worthy of love. You are worthy of love exactly the way you are right now. The absolute truth is, there are people your age, your size, with your philosophies (and with less than you have) in love right now. There are people less beautiful, heavier, less intelligent, with more baggage than you, in love right now. Not just a few, by the way, it's more like hundreds of thousands, even millions.

 

So, that means every single thing you've convinced yourself is to blame for your single life has not gotten in the way for someone else. Every excuse you make, every finger you point is not a problem for millions of others. The excuses that you’ve bought into are not preventing someone else (with your same set of circumstances) from having love.

 

Isn't it interesting that we tell ourselves that we are not smart enough or young enough or strong enough or thin enough to find love. We don't have enough time or energy. We have been there done that. We never meet the good ones, we can't have it all, or live the dream we've dreamt so long. It’s just too late. Isn't it interesting that something we want so much eludes us, but it doesn't elude the geek in your office or the b**** at your gym?

 

How about that really hairy guy you think is super-nice, but couldn't be attracted to if the world were ending? Ever notice his wedding ring?

 

This should be really good news to you. Look around you. Every single person with the exact same flaws you think you have (and many, many more), has a person in their life. Love found them. They’ve allowed love to find them. “So what do they have that I don’t?” you ask.

 

Here is what "they" have: a different belief system. A different definition of what they deserve and what is possible. This not-so-small revelation ought to make you want to examine what you've been buying into and investing your precious mental energy in.

 

What a shame it is that we have laundry lists of reasons that we can’t have love and yet that freaky convenience store guy doesn't seem to get in his own way about having someone. He's engaged. A shame indeed.

 

Everywhere around us is the proof that anyone can find love. Anyone who is truly open to it and willing to let it find them. Anyone willing to risk it, be vulnerable, and who believes it's possible can find love. All that is required is that you believe, from your core, that true love is possible and you deserve it. If you are open to love then love is possible for you.

 
A Painful Truth

It is only a self-fulfilled prophecy if we don’t get the love we want. Meaning, somewhere in our hearts we think we can't have it, won't find it, or it's not possible, and that belief is making it true. What we believe is what is true for us. Period.

 

It may be time to ask yourself if all your nitpicking and excuses about dating and finding someone are a thinly veiled way of proving yourself right, and quite possibly why love is not happening for you. Careful what you buy into. Do you want to be "right" about this? Do you want to spend your life proving love can’t happen or won’t happen? We didn't think so.

 

We really do understand you've tried, but if it is not happening, there is something you believe in that is keeping love at arm’s length. And for some, it's a life-long struggle.

 

Something to Consider 

The stories and complaints we recite to ourselves and our friends are absolutely contributing to our staying single. We want to suggest you reexamine the things you say about dating and meeting someone. We want to ask that you replace your negative voices and diatribes with something more hopeful. And, helpful. What we really want is to ask you to take a hard long look at your belief system about love and dating and see if it could use a tune-up. Wouldn't it be better to hold the belief "love is available to everyone including me? The perfect person may be at the gas station or in my inbox when I get home."

 

News flash: We are all flawed and not everyone will think we are the end-all-be-all. That is A-OK. All we need is one person to see us in all our flawed glory, our beautiful confusion, and all our brilliant chaos, and love us anyway. You've done that for someone in your life, right? Just know that someone can (and will) do the same for you. It just takes one.

 

We think we just heard you say, "Yeah-but…" We say, NO yeah-buts allowed. Let this truth sink in before you go back to your go-to feelings and thoughts about all this.

 

Love is a universal force, available to everyone who is willing to allow it to happen. Deeply willing. To say this another way, your belief about finding love will always dictate what you get. Law of attraction and all.

 

And, you should know, your beliefs about who you become in a relationship that scare you to death are also a big, fat, giant self-fulfilled prophecy. We all have it in us to be different and to have something different then what we’ve experienced in the past. Our past does not have to dictate our futures. Unless of course we enjoy getting those same cursed results we’ve always gotten. In that case, have at it, keep doing what you’re doing, thinking what you’ve been thinking, and getting what you’ve got. You should know we don’t buy it though. We believe you want something more, as secretly as you may hold that belief. We feel it and will say just about anything to out you on this one.

 

Examine your beliefs, for every reason you find love an impossibility there are countless examples to prove your theory wrong. Love isn’t ageist, or racist, or sizeist. Attraction is not determined by societal projections. You are attractive. It's out there for you. It's waiting for you. It is patient and kind and will be there as soon as you're ready. Really, really ready. That means trading the pessimism for optimism.

 

Congratulations. Taking all this in brings you one step closer to releasing those self-defeating voices in your head. You really are on your way. You are worthy of love and you will have it. On your behalf, we're not willing to believe anything else.

 

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